Not another word
by ninjapirategirl
Summary: Lily/James Drabbley piece. Lily seems a bit young but I'm going to put that down as being drunk on love. Lily tries to hate James and teach him some potions. Amused Remus is amused.


Lily Evans was very angry with James Potter.

Now if you were Remus Lupin, you would understand that this is a regular occurrence. He puts it down mostly to James' unfailing idiocy and Lily's red hair.

But it was mostly the idiocy thing.

"Potter is such a bloody idiot! I hate him!"

"Yes Lily." He replied with only faint amusement.

"Seriously, Remus, I'm never speaking to that boy ever again, ever! I am not even going to look at him! Should he pass my way, which he should hope to god he never does, I will turn away and not even acknowledge his presence. I hope to never see his stupid face ever again."

_Stupid _sexy _face…shut up brain._

"That might be a problem."

"Why? I am quite within my rights to ignore him for all time and I can still see you separately."

"This is all true, Lily, but-"

"In fact, I'm not going to go anywhere near him, ever."

She said, smiling satisfactorily.

"So the fact that you promised to help him with his potions is completely void then I suppose?"

Lily's smug smile fell away. Lily would be the first to admit that she wasn't perfect, not at all. She was aware that she could be extremely self-righteous at times, that she had a furious temper and that she had a tendency to talk in her sleep, amongst other things. All that aside, she knew her good points too, and one of them was that she could say, without any doubt, that she would keep a promise no matter what. She never let anything get in her way from fulfilling promises and, as such, she _hated_ breaking them.

Remus watched, silently amused, as Lily struggled with this predicament for a moment. After a while she finally let go of the breath she hadn't realised she had been holding in a loud burst,

"Fine! I will see him."

She sighed, looking defeated, then that self same triumph, which had twinkled in her eyes a moment before, returned and she held a finger up in front of Remus' face,

"But I will _not_ speak to him."

Remus had to fight really hard not to laugh.

"But then, how will you teach him potions, Lily?"

She pouted angrily, but didn't move her finger.

"Then…I will _not_ let _him_ speak to _me_."

She muttered, sounding less triumphant than before and looking like she had lost out somewhere in this deal.

At that moment two second year Slytherin's emerged in front of them with wands pointed against each other and Lily drew herself up, the way she only did when she had her prefect head on, and strode over to them, one hand on her own wand just in case.

Remus followed, smiling ruefully to himself.

_Of course you won't Lily._

***

Later that day Lily sat in the common room staring at the fire with her head in her hands, trying to gather the courage to walk up to James Potter's dormitory.

This would normally not be such a problem but she had to get what she was going to do straight in her head before she encountered him. Last time had been an epic disaster and she did not want to repeat it.

She had stormed up to him after hearing from Remus that he was intending to send her a valentine's card and told him, in what she thought was a calm collected manner, to not even dream of doing such a thing.

It was something she did every year and had become such a tradition that even if her feelings _had_ changed, not that she was admitting to herself that they had, but _if_ they had. Well she felt that she had a duty to hold up a tradition, and she was damned if she was going to break it and give Potter any ideas. Like sending her a valentine's card.

She had assumed Potter would uphold with their tradition and tell her happily that he was going to send her one anyway, like every year, but he hadn't. He'd just smiled ruefully and said "Okay Evans." And walked off!

He hadn't even the decency to stay around so she could look shocked, he left her standing like an utter idiot, her mouth wide open like some goddamn cartoon and he had _fucking walked off_.

_Bastard._

She realised suddenly that if she was late he would know she had been reluctant to come. She didn't want James Potter thinking anything he did affected her plans, even the ones concerning him. So she scooped up her potions book from the sofa and jumped up delicately, heading for the stairs that would lead her to his dorm.

She stood outside the door, frowning at it as she tried to compose herself. After a few moments she realised how idiotic she would look if someone caught her here. Staring at a door. In an angry fashion. She sighed quietly and reached to open the door…and made contact with cloth. Frowning, she blinked, her fingers clawing at the cloth a little, unsure how suddenly the door had become so blue…and material-like…and attached to James Potter's chest.

"Hello Evans! Come on in then. No sense in standing on our doorstep."

He announced cheerfully, steering her in by her elbows as she struggled with finding some words to express her irritation.

She was still doing so when they had gotten to his bedside and James reached to poke her on the nose.

"Have I ever told you that I love it when you're mad? You look sort of like a little demented goldfish."

He said, sitting down on his bed and leaning back on his elbow.

Finally, this seemed to break the annoying blankness of her mind.

"Stop talking right now."

She wasn't sure whether she didn't like the silence better. He looked at her in amused confusion.

"I am not happy with you. So you will not say another word. Nor will you touch me."

_No matter how goo- shush._

"Why are-"

She quickly leant down and pressed a finger on his lips.

"I said not another word, Potter."

She said, putting on her best serious face and trying to ignore the way her finger was tingling.

"But-"

She pressed harder.

"I mean it, unless you want to try and pass potions by yourself?"

He frowned, pursing his lips together. She cocked her head as though to ask the question again and he sighed, mimed zipping his lips together and leant back on the bed again.

She smiled triumphantly and climbed onto his bed, crossing her legs and laying her book in her lap. She flicked through the pages until she got to the place she had put her bookmark. She looked up about to say something and then frowned at James.

He was staring at her, in the way that made her heart jump madly in her chest and she tried to swallow the sudden lump in her throat. They sat in silence for what seemed like an hour. Finally, she realised she had to breathe and tried, causing her to cough and breaking them both out of their silent reverie.

"…So," She murmered looking down at her book, "Bez-Bezoars."

_Fuck-Fuck-Fuck I can't remember anything at Bezoars. I can't read anything about Bezoars. Shiiiit. Is he still looking at me?_

She glanced up through her hair and confirmed that he was, but he was looking at her hair now, in a similarly dreamy way. She swallowed, hard and slowly raised her head.

"Potter, why are you staring at me?"

She had to use up the rest of her residual anger to get it out, so she couldn't frown at him whilst she said it. So, whilst it sounded a lot like an angry question, she looked genuinely curious. He shrugged.

"Tell me."

He shook his head and she stared at him angrily, about to shout at him. He waved his hands a little to stop her as she opened her mouth and pointed at his lips. She frowned.

"What? You can't speak now?

He shook his head again.

"Oh, right, why the hell not?"

He pointed at her and then mimed zipping his lips and then shrugged a satisfied smile on his face.

_Oh. Right. I told him not to._

She sat for a moment, and then looked back down at her book.

"Okay, Bezoars, they can be used as an alternative to most antidotes and work with all mild potions and also several dangerous ones- oh for god's sake! Okay you can talk! Now tell me."

She said in one go, flicking her hair out of her face angrily and fixing him with an annoyed glare. Clearly it was his fault she had to break her private pact with herself. He had to be so goddamn sexy and intriguing didn't he? _Bastard._

He sat there, smiling smugly like the bloody smug bastard he was and…said nothing.

"Well? Tell me. Why were you staring at me?"

He continued to say nothing. He was just smiling. Right in her face like that. How dare he? _Bastard_.

She fumed silently for a few moments, not wanting to ask again or seem like she cared that he stared at her.

Because she didn't…really.

He let her suffer for another few seconds before chuckling quietly,

"You know, just because you said I _could_ talk, doesn't mean I want to."

She looked at him in disgust, as though he had just slapped her in the face.

"Right, okay, fine…why would you not want to say?"

"Ah, there is the thing Evans."

"What _thing_?"

"_The _thing, Evans. Honestly, keep up here. You're awfully slow for someone so intelligent. Kind of like Remus."

She fumed again, she was not slow. He was just being obtuse and Remus was a lot more astute than James gave him credit for. In fact, than both of them did.

"Just tell me Potter."

"Okay, well maybe I don't want to give away my position."

"Right, and what position would that be exactly?"

"You know, my emotional position. With you. How I stand, in this matter."

She sat for a minute, trying to decipher his obscure use of language. Finally, she had it. He didn't want to give away how he felt about her…because he didn't love her anymore.

"Oh."

She murmured quietly and rather calmly whilst her insides imploded. _He doesn't love me. Wow._

Now you might think that this was a rather stupid assumption for her to make, why would anyone stare because they _didn't _love them anymore, but Lily was stupid. At least, when it came to James she was… just a little.

He nodded for a while, satisfied that she understood. That was, until she started crying. She didn't mean to and she certainly hadn't noticed for the first few moments of it happening, but before she knew it there were tears streaming down her face.

_Oh god, why am I crying?_

_Because he doesn't love you._

_Yes but that wouldn't bother me, would it?_

_Well…maybe because he's loved you so long it's hard to imagine anything else…or maybe…_

_Maybe what? _

_Maybe you love him now._

_Oh…I love him._

She looked up at James, who was sat looking extremely guilty and concerned and devastated. He reached to wrap an arm around her and she sniffled into his chest, trying to stop crying. Which she did, eventually.

James used his free hand to wipe the tear streaks off the half of her face that wasn't buried in his chest.

"Sorry Lily what did I say? I didn't mean to make you cry-"

The way he said Lily rather than Evans, sent a stab through her already painful heart.

"Well, you didn't-didn't say it exactly, but well it was _implicit, _right?"

He frowned, using his free hand again, this time to tilt her chin up so she was looking into his eyes. Those beautiful bright blue eyes that made her want to sleep in his bed, just so that she could see those eyes looking at her in the morning.

"_What _was?"

She half-whispered it, not wanting to say it out loud.

"You don't love me."

"Are you insane?"

The bit of her nose between her eyes wrinkled in confusion as she tried to comprehend why he was asking about her sanity at such a moment.

"What?"

"Of course I love you, idiot."

"But-"

"I was staring at you because you are so beautiful and I love you."

He said it very slowly, as if he was talking to a three year old and leant to kiss her on the forehead.

She caught his head between her hands before he could.

"Say that again."

"You are so beautiful?"

"No, no the other thing."

"I love you."

She pulled his face towards hers and kissed him. He resisted for a moment, before realising exactly what was happened and threw himself into it enthusiastically.

She had to pull away to catch her breath before murmuring.

"Do you know what, _James?_"

She asked, emphasising his name so that he would notice she was not calling him by his surname. He regarded her, slightly bemused as to what had just happened and why she was stopping and also amused at the giddy look on her face.

"What, _Lily?_"

"I think I love you too. Oh. I do love you too."

She sat still for a moment, a look of utter shock on her face before he cupped her cheek with one hand. She looked at him, confused.

"Just, stop all this thinking and kiss me again, idiot."


End file.
